070212 Effortless Communication - Leading by the Lightest Connection

"What grows... never grows old"
~ Noah Benshea

"If you always yell, no one will hear your whisper"

"The task of the woman is now two-fold. She must follow the man's lead at all times - including his mistakes! She must carry her own weight and in this way learn the art of balance."
~ from Teach Yourself Ballroom Dancing
by The Imperial Society of Teachers of Dancing

Article: Effortless Communication - Leading by the Lightest Connection

Some of you may know that I run a small Israeli Dance group.
In Israeli Dancing we have hundreds of choreographed partner dances.
If you came to our swing classes, you may remember
doing a dance people call Cha-Cha, which is an Israeli
Dance called Bala.

Lead and Follow applies equally well to choreographed
partner dances, or should, as to other social dances.
However, naughty followers often cheat by doing the
steps on their own without waiting for the lead.

Last weekend, at an Israeli Dance workshop, I was dancing
with one of the ladies from my group. After the dance, she
commented to me, that when it came time for a series of turns,
she did them on her own, because I did not lead her through them.

That made me smile. We walked through that portion of the
dance again. I was holding two fingers lightly against the
palm of her hand. I raised my hand over her head and she
raised her hand. By putting the slightest pressure on her
palm, she turned one way. By her maintaining the connection,
when I moved my hand in the other direction, she turned the
other way.

The Lead and Follow was so effortless, she did not even know
it was happening.

We have two problems in achieving effortless communication.
The first is, we both have to want to accomplish the same goal,
to dance together in harmony with our partner. This is primarily
the Follow's responsibility. To dance in harmony, the Follow
must follow the Lead at all times, even the Lead's mistakes.

The second is, we have to communicate in an effortless way.
If the Lead is forceful and rough, the Follow will not hear
the quiet leads. The lighter the Lead, the more responsive
the Follow can be.

It takes two to communicate effortlessly, both on the dance
floor and in life.

by Andrew Weitzen, February 12, 2007